飛べない翼

Once again.

I can’t help it; I watched Lily ChouChou again and yet again (within one week). When Salyu sang her 'Wings that can't fly' and Shiori pulled the strings and beamed watching the eagle-like kites, heart wrenchingly innocent and delicate, and so happy, I wept. Could only weep, and then more weeping. I can’t describe it. just breaks me.

Towards the end I got so tense. Because I could not remember the ending. It's been...eighteen months now, and my memory appears a moth-bitten carpet. I remember...crouching in the dark watching it for the first time with you in the home sty, I remember muffled gasps and tears (was it just me..) and going to bed with heavy heart and my face somewhat swollen and neither of us saying much besides a confused, broken discussion. (think Lily Chou-Chou is in many ways always associated with those hot summer days in Suzhou and the smell of the bamboo mat in your air-conditioned room). I couldn’t remember...what happened to Hasumi after Hoshino died. When he played a few notes on the piano at home and the camera cut to his torso quite still in midair my heart clutched itself and shuddered in fear, fearing that he might have hanged himself and that I have forgotten. (But how could I, if he did such a thing, or anything at all??) The ending came to this scene, billowing sunlight and Debussy, and the resemblance of this to the Love Letter scene struck me only now. My infinite respect and gratitude for Shunji Iwai, for giving closure (like how Ondaatje said a storyteller should do), and calm, pulsing hope.

And I just got more moRE mORE nostalgic for Kokyu and Salyu-as-Lily Chou-Chou. Saw this fictional discography of Lily Chou-Chou on the wiki page, beautiful, Lily-styled names, why can't they produce all of them?!

• 1stアルバム『ジュエル』　

1. みずうみ
2. 三つの扉
3. 踊る魚
4. 愛の実験
5. 犬の眼
6. オルゴオル

• 2ndアルバム『エロティック』

1. 共鳴
2. 孤独の瞬間
3. ビデオテープ
4. 化粧をしない生活
5. 家
6. エロティック
7. 約束の日
8. 指先
9. 悲しい瞳
10. 沈黙の木

• 3rdアルバム『呼吸』

1. アラベスク
2. グライド
3. 友達
4. 土曜日の郵便
5. 飛べない翼
6. セーター
7. 飛行船
8. 花の瞳
9. 九月の雨の心臓
10. 回復する傷